if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
