Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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