I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
