: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
