How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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