you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
