So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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