Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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