hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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