literally had 100 drinks last night.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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