that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
