Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
