do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
