tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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