no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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