i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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