ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
