We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
