He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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