Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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