She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
