We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
