Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
