Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Randomize
