hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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