We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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