I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think my moral compass just broke
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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