I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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