rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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