you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
