I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
