i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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