I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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