so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
