Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
