Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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