I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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