ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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