Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
a search helicopter?!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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