You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
