sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He has the fingertips of a God
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