Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
