He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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