You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
