i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
