I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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