After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
