what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
