the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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