Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
