he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
