Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
