dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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