For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
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